I highly recommend Robert Olsen Inc's new answering machine message. I'll give you the number so that you can hear the hapless old fellow's voice for yourself, but first let me give some background.
The previous version of the message had been recorded by his secretary Rob. It was a straightforward and workmanlike message. Its one small flaw was that it did give incorrect office hours (or hours different from those supplied by the urgent message operator).
The problem was not with the message itself, but with the fact that Robert Olsen Inc never answers the phone and seldom returns calls left on their answering machine. As a result, callers tended to press "0" as instructed to reach the (non-emergency) urgent message operator. While this was only marginally more effective in eliciting a response from Robert Olsen Inc, it did at least offer a human voice to assure one that one's message had been successfully transmitted.
This over-use of the urgent message operator apparently threw Dr. Olsen into a fit. "I'll do it myself!" he must have shouted, erasing poor Rob's serviceable version and replacing it with his own.
Ok. Now listen to the message. Don't worry, there is no chance whatsoever that a person will answer the phone.
(206) 622-5455
Note the inappropriate tone of voice used in the "apology". He certainly doesn't sound sorry that his office never returns calls, does he? I'd call that tone of voice "indignant" if not "ill-concealed rage" but give it a try and see what you think.
His vocal cord tension reaches dangerous levels when he begins schooling his callers on when it is and isn't appropriate to dial "0" for the urgent message line.
It just goes to show, just because you're a psychiatrist doesn't mean you have any self-awareness at all.
Enjoy it now, because I can't see a message like that lasting forever.
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