Letter to Robert Olsen Inc and Kahan Law Firm

Dear Rob (Robert Olsen Inc) and Bob (Kahan Law Firm),

Dr. Olsen's office so seldom responds to communications or follows through on promises that sending emails, writing letters, etc., is usually a poor use of my time. Olsen's Foibles remedies that situation. Instead of typing over and over again information that's going to be ignored, I can simply link to it.

Bob, you'll probably want to read Kahan News! Exclusive to Olsen's Foibles!.

Vicky will want to read Vicky the Overbooker.

Rob, you and Dr. Olsen should probably read the whole blog. Not all the posts are on the first page; use the navigation bar on the right.

Despite the name "Olsen's Foibles" we look forward to publishing good experiences people have had with Robert Olsen Inc as well as our own unfortunately mostly bad ones. I hope you appreciate Olsen's Foibles in the humorous sense in which it is intended. The blog is therapeutic for me. If I didn't laugh about this I'd have to cry.

Best regards,

Jason

PROTIP

Yes, it's a PROTIP for the Olsen staff!

As it became clear that Dr. Olsen cannot be bothered with such trivialities as addresses, I wrote the Olsen staff a letter from which I will quote only the last paragraph:

PROTIP: If a client tells you even once that they did not receive documents you sent, check their mailing address. Don't wait for them to insist you read it back to them, and then heave a sigh to let them know you're merely indulging them.

New answering machine message!

I highly recommend Robert Olsen Inc's new answering machine message. I'll give you the number so that you can hear the hapless old fellow's voice for yourself, but first let me give some background.

The previous version of the message had been recorded by his secretary Rob. It was a straightforward and workmanlike message. Its one small flaw was that it did give incorrect office hours (or hours different from those supplied by the urgent message operator).

The problem was not with the message itself, but with the fact that Robert Olsen Inc never answers the phone and seldom returns calls left on their answering machine. As a result, callers tended to press "0" as instructed to reach the (non-emergency) urgent message operator. While this was only marginally more effective in eliciting a response from Robert Olsen Inc, it did at least offer a human voice to assure one that one's message had been successfully transmitted.

This over-use of the urgent message operator apparently threw Dr. Olsen into a fit. "I'll do it myself!" he must have shouted, erasing poor Rob's serviceable version and replacing it with his own.

Ok. Now listen to the message. Don't worry, there is no chance whatsoever that a person will answer the phone.

(206) 622-5455

Note the inappropriate tone of voice used in the "apology". He certainly doesn't sound sorry that his office never returns calls, does he? I'd call that tone of voice "indignant" if not "ill-concealed rage" but give it a try and see what you think.

His vocal cord tension reaches dangerous levels when he begins schooling his callers on when it is and isn't appropriate to dial "0" for the urgent message line.

It just goes to show, just because you're a psychiatrist doesn't mean you have any self-awareness at all.

Enjoy it now, because I can't see a message like that lasting forever.

An invitation to fans of Dr. Robert Olsen

Our own opinion of Robert Olsen Inc., as readers will infer, is that it's the Keystone Kops of the psychiatric world. But we strive for balance and fairness, and certainly hope that some readers will have had positive experiences with Dr. Olsen and will tell us about them.

Dr. Robert Olsen and his staff are also encouraged to comment!

Editorial policy

This is a blog, not a newspaper. I go back and make updates, corrections and improvements to older posts from time to time; and I do it without comment unless there is some reason to call attention to it.

So far, we have had no reader comments, but comments are welcome. I like to have comments unmoderated for instant posting. Provided your comment is about Dr. Robert Olsen and his staff, and isn't legally problematic, it'll probably be fine.

Waiting for your call

On Wednesday, May 19th, just after noon, Dr. Olsen's secretary Rob emailed me

I would like you and Dr. Olsen to have a telephone conversation about your case and where we are to go from here. I would be happy to give you a call tommorow [sic] and setup [sic] an appointment time. I think it would be beneficial to the situation for that to happen. Please send a reply indicating whether that would be acceptable to you. Thank you.

to which I responded exactly seven minutes later

Rob,

A phone conversation would be wonderful!
Thanks.

Jason

What a wallflower I felt like, waiting all day Thursday and Friday for the phone call that never came!

Will Rob ever call to set up the telephone appointment? Readers of Olsen's Foibles will know that it's not a forgone conclusion. Not by any means. We will, of course, keep you posted.

Hat tip to Valkyrie's Life for the graphic.

Dr. Olsen's malpractice insurer?

Dr. Olsen's secretary, Rob, tells me "I will have to ask Dr. Olsen if I can give you any information on that."

You do that, Rob!

Possible senile dementia setting in?

Dr. Olsen is getting on in years. He has been known to cite legal documents that do not exist, or (a more charitable explanation) concern the wrong patient or client.

We believe Dr. Olsen's practice cannot stay in business for much longer.

My promise to the readers of Olsen's Foibles

Everything I write here is the literal truth to the best of my knowledge and belief. If I ever get a fact wrong, I will make the correction and apologize. Why? Because I am not Dr. Robert Olsen.

Kahan News! Exclusive to Olsen's Foibles!

Kahan Law Firm, which is in the embarrassing position of having recommended Dr. Olsen, cannot have been happy to receive this message:

Dr. Olsen does not respond to phone calls, snail mails, faxes or emails. He has been twiddling his thumbs for, I don't know, a year or something. I would have thought Mr. Kahan would want to be aware, in a general sense not specific to my case, that a person he recommends has accepted the payment but not provided the service, so that he can think more carefully in the future whether to recommend that person.

Mr. Kahan's paralegal, Bob, has been given the contact information of relevant parties, as he requested.

We don't need no stinkin' addresses

Dr. Olsen has a tendency to send reams of confidential documents through the mail to the wrong address -- repeatedly -- even after being told they are not arriving -- for over a year -- and to think that's nothing to apologize for! Where are the documents now? He does not know. Is he trying to recover them? No. Does he care? No.

Vicky the Overbooker

You know how when you make a doctor or dentist appointment a good secretary will call you a day or two before the appointment to remind you?

Not only should you not expect Vicky to remind you... You'd better remind her! If you don't, you are likely to discover that she has booked multiple people in the same time slot. When you all show up for your appointments, she'll have to send some of you home! Don't expect anyone in the office, much less Dr. Olsen, to apologize.

Dr. Olsen's secretary Rob changes his tune

Rob refused to send me email with attachments. I then sent him a form OMB No. 1190-0009 from which these excerpts are taken (click the images to see them larger):









Suddenly Dr. Olsen's office is oleaginously accommodating!

Welcome to Olsen's Foibles!

Hi! This is a blog all about Dr. Robert Olsen and his staff -- Rob, Vicky and Sharon. Dr. Olsen is a psychiatrist in Seattle, Washington. Want to learn about Dr. Olsen? Have you had a good or bad experience with him that you'd like to share? This blog is the place!